Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Reggeaton Mysteries: Ivy Queen

For centuries Latin America and the Caribbean Isles have been filled with mystery: Bermuda triangles, Mayans, and Cities of Gold are just a few. Reggaeton has continued this tradition by creating many of it's own mysteries, and one of the biggest is Ivy Queen.

When you first hear Ivy Queen on a remix you think to yourself "why is she listed on this remix? There are no women singing on this track? Only soulful latino men. I guess it's another one of those improperly tagged reggaeton downloads." (Note: Reggaeton online is facing an epidemic of bad MP3 tagging, it's like the Napster days out there...seriously).

Then you decide to take to the internet to learn more about this Ivy Queen and you watch a youtube video. Then the mystery begins.

You see a rather obvious transvestite open her mouth and out comes a beautiful voice that does not sound unliked Ken-Y. So you start looking further and you see that many other people (including latinos who can speak spanish) are confused about Ivy Queen's gender. At the same time you also find comments from various people who are quiet eager to have sex with Ivy Queen. But then again, there are a lot of people who want to have sex with Trannys which I suppose I understand as the desire to have the best of both worlds. But I kind of believe it ends up being the worst of both worlds.

The main problem is that without knowing her gender, we do not know how to get her pregnant.

In any case, the genital package of Ivy Queen remains a mystery, but her ability to rock out with sweet jams is no mystery. It's certified.

"Dime," a truly awesome jam, regardless of what package you possess. Though this video could use more watermarks.

-Estilo Blanco