So Barack Obama just nominated Sonia Sotomayor to be a supreme court justice and some people are all upset about it. They said it's about abortion or something, but we all know what this is really about: the anti-reggaeton lobby.
Yes Daddy Yankee supported John McCain, but last time I checked John McCain didn't seem to eager to support him back: no video appearances, no shout outs in speeches, no sweet Puerto Rico hats, no support in general. What a jerk.
So now Sonia Sotomayor is on the verge of being a Supreme Court Justice. Looking at her biography we see that she is Puerto Rican, born in the Bronx, and a Yale Law School Graduate. If you subtract the Yale thing, her biography is almost identical to Marcy Place! And if you swap "Bronx" for "San Juan" and "Yale Law School" with "getting drafted by the Seattle Mariners then getting shot" she is the mirror image of Daddy Yankee himself!
So what would a Reggaeton Supreme Court Justice do? Well, in my fantasy world here is what happens:
1. Pledge of Allegiance replaced with Somos De Calle Remix
2. Star Spangled Banner is rewritten by De La Ghetto to be "more catchy" and "more reggaeton-y"
3. New Era named official hat producer to US Government
4. Dominican Republican given protectorate status (for baseball and reggaeton reasons)
5. Boring, stuck up Washington Dinners turn into sweet Perrero block parties!
We are so close!