How to Dance Reggaeton

ADVANCED:


Since this is taught by a white guy it doesn't count. Also it's dancing, which is lame.

Arcangel v. Polaco

We are still learning about the roots of this feud, and since our Spanish is non-existent, it's gonna take a while.

But this fight is too sweet! Look at the size difference!



Judging by the video. Polaco looks to be about 7'0" 500 lbs, either that or Arcangel is 4'11" weighing in at a buck.

The jury is still out on Arcangel, he has some jams, but he seems like a pretty big trouble maker. Also he's the only guy in reggaeton who seems to like tight clothes.

More Interpretation

Notes:
1. Notice Dog humping in the back
2. The kid is very proud of the chain
3. This girl is why Noche De Sexo was written
4. 1:34 note the gangbang that takes place while the girl's younger brother is not watching
5. 0:25 AB FLASH! whooo

Interpretacion de la cancion

In other news, I've found out what my hobby for new year is...
These are pretty good.

The Mystery of Wisin y Yandel

When Talento de Victoria and I were first getting into Reggaeton we were instantly drawn to Wisin y Yandel. They produced songs that just jumped out with pop sensibilities and amazing catchy rhythms.

We got into them pretty hard core, we started learning about their lives (Yandel has a degree in Drama) and whenever someone asked what music we were into they were met with Wisin y Yandel right near the top.

Of course, we were ignoring some obvious facts about this duo. Wisin y Yandel both wear a lot of Ed Hardy style gear, which is very unacceptable. Though we have a history of forgiving gino tendencies (see Baby Boy), after a while Wisin y Yandel just seemed too far into the gino side without enough of the romantic style to balance it out.

Looking back on it, when you first get into Reggaeton it's like getting into hip hop a few years ago. You are drawn to the popular so you like Kanye West and 50 Cent. You think both are awesome and you are proud to yell G-Unit all the time. Then as you learn more about the music, you kind of realize 50 Cent is garbage, but Kanye is money. Well, Wisin y Yandel are like 50 Cent and Kanye is like Daddy Yankee.

After a while, you realize that these guys are really into their abs and cars, and that's pretty lame.

Of course, Yandel did make Permitame with Tony Dize which is one of the great songs of 2008.

Ahora Es (one of the first reggaeton jams we got into)

Update: Here are a couple of pics from early WyY albums. Fair enough, reggaetoneros all look a little bootleg when they are first getting started, but these just reinforce our beliefs.

Enemy of Reggaeton: Lil Rob

Lil' Rob - Summer Nights

We do not like Lil' Rob. He raps in English, and when he does say stuff in Spanish it's things like Pantalones and other words that even I know how to say. Pretty weak stuff.

His biggest hit was the above track called Summer Nights, and some highlights include

"right by the Pacific, to be specific" (yes he used it again in the Bumper remix, he thought we would forget)

"they think we look crazy, but I think we look classy, but that's only if you ask me." (Seriously. That was his rhyme.)

Facts:
- The guys who make Homies were going to make a Lil' Rob figure but they realized he was too much of a stereotype.

- Lil Rob was in Dangerous Minds and read out a poem and Michelle Pfieffer said it sucked.

- Lil Rob claims to have acted in Training Day, he did not.

- Lil Rob WAS in Party Animalz (2004), which seems to be about a Mexican party where some goats show up.

- Lil Rob has the pointiest and grossest goatee in history.

-Estilo Blanco

- Lil Rob only rolls with mid-to-late thirties single mothers.

- He raps like a retarded t-rex (watch the hands).

Some people tell me that I will listen to anything in Spanish. I guess that could apply to Lil Rob, except he would have to speak Spanish first.

-Talento de Victoria

Rums of Reggaeton: Bacardi Gold

All music genres have alcohol associated with it
1. Rock 'n Roll has Jack Daniels
2. Indie Rock has Pabst Blue Ribbon
3. Hip Hop has Alize, Hypnotiq, Crystal, Grey Goose, Old English, St. Ides, Moet, Hennessey
4. R'n'B has Courvousier and wine (kind of)
5. Jazz has wine (certainly) and lame cocktails
6. Dance Music (Gino Style) has Grey Goose and Belvedere
7. Jam Bands have Micro and home brews, also wine in a skin (what is that all about?)

But Reggaeton is amazingly silent when it comes to liquor and alcohol shout outs. Here at SPR, Talento de Victoria and Estilo Blanco are just waiting to be told what to do. We need guidance. We started doing research and learned that Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic produce copious amounts of Rum and Reggaeton.

We then tried to find the realest and most expensive rum. We learned that Grand Anejo is most expensive and is therefore the best. Also, DY mentions Anejo in the Somos De Calle Remix!

So we are going to keep drinking rums until we find the perfect reggaeton rum.
Here is the scoring:
From Puerto Rico? +2
From DR? +2
From Other Island? -2
From North America (including Mexico)? -5

Taste (1-25)
Smoothness (1-15)
Bottle Design (1-10)
Highest possible score:
50 Reggaeton Points (with 2 bonus)

First Review - Bacardi Gold

This rum was purchased for $12.99 at Trader Joes. The color was nice and when you open it up and take a sniff the first thing you think is "yup, this is booze." Downed as a shot, it's pretty harsh but leaves with you with that good rum flavor.

As a mixer this thing is awesome. Eggnog or Diet Coke, it's fantastic.

Taste (15)
Smoothness (8)
Bottle Design (3)
From Puerto Rico (+2)
28/50
Overall, pretty standard.