Johnny Walker Black

One of the things that we have publically complained about on this site before is that Reggaeton artists are not doing enough work to shout out labels and products that we should buy. We don't speak Spanish, we need to be told what to do!

When we first got into reggaeton, we looked so hard to find the right drink for reggaeton. Naturally we thought it had to be rum, and why wouldn't we? Puerto Rico produces some of the finest rum on earth, and in the Somos De Calle Remix Daddy Yankee even talks about "hot in your chest like Anejo" which we looked up and found out was a type of rum. So we thought, to be reggaeton is to be into rum. We were wrong.

We waited so long for an answer that we almost gave up. But then we started noticing Randy y Jowell in a lot of pictures holding up a bottle of Johnny Walker Black Label. We were curious, but Randy y Jowell do a lot of weird stuff so maybe Jowell was just into the shape of the bottle. I mean this is a dude who appeared in numerous videos holding a Chucky Doll.

But today while watching the video for "2 Cachas" by J. Alvarez and Nejo (seen below, side note: it's HOT) I noticed that Black Label bottle showing up again. So a quick search revealed the above video of Randy y Jowell on tour where we find out that Johnny Walker is the official TOUR SPONSOR! This is a step in the right direction.

Now, this presents a double edged sword. Firstly, Estilo Blanco and Talento De Victoria both love scotch, so it's pretty sweet that the drink of reggaeton is something we already like. But the problem with Black Label is that it leaves an old man aftertaste in your mouth the next morning. The perfect solution would be if another reggaeton star would come out with a special mint for the morning after that fixed this. Because there's no way that I'm going to go buy some Orbitz or Dentyne without reggaeton approval. No way.

Until further notice, we can officially declare Johnny Walker Black the drink of reggaeton. Keep a bottle in your pantry just to be safe.

Zion y Lennox - Amor Genuino

I think it's pretty obvious that this might be the classiest reggaeton video ever. Do you know why? Because it's set in the olden days, and as a rule of thumb anything that happens in the old days is always classier than stuff that happens now. Except racism and sexism, I guess.

So this is about as mainstream as reggaeton can sound, and I'm not sure how much it works. It kind of sounds like Zion y Lennox are singing on top of a Steve Winwood track which is not that cool.

That being said, I think this song could be a pretty sweet jam for a tourism campaign for Puerto Rico. Imagine this playing on top of shots of like cliffs, and nightclubs, and beaches and awesome restaurants serving rice and beans, plantains, and all sorts of other awesome PR food.

PR Hat gets you respect

So I bought this hat a while ago and I've only worn it outside a few times.

But every time I wear it I magically get props!
1) I was at Trader Joe's buying wine and this super cool black guy who looked like Terry Kennedy goes "where you get that hat man?" and I told him and he was totally impressed!
2) I was walking down the street near this plumbing company and these Latino guys (not sure if they were PR, that would have made it way sweeter), stop me to ask where I got my hat.
3) I was going through security at the airport and the ladies there asked me to show the hat to a different security who wanted to buy one! So awesome.

This hat is magic, I need to get the Dominican one next. So proud.

Puerto Rican Haircut

While the music is what draws you to reggaeton, you can't help but get into the culture that surrounds it. As we try to figure it all out, we start to connect the dots and find trends and patterns that give us insight into the music and the lifestyle.

One of the things that seems to pop up over and over again is the same haircut.

For some reason, Puerto Ricans seem to like a hair cut that is very short on the sides and then pushed forward to create a STRAIGHT hairline across their forehead. There are theories that this is done to try and look more like a black guy but I'm not sure. To get a better idea of the style, take a look at the picture on the left. De La Ghetto might have the most perfect PR haircut on earth. So thick and luxurious!

It is a sweet haircut that cannot be pulled off by just anyone.

Curly hair? Get a Grateful Dead CD. Widows peak? Start listening to Indie Rock. Blonde? You look too much like Eminem. Bald? Acceptable if you are jacked.

You need to have very straight black hair that is thick enough to form a perfect line. If you hair is thin, you will end up looking kind of creepy and greasy (see photo below). Though just a theory at this point, I think Chinese guys and maybe an Indian dude could pull it off.

Ebay: Awesome Shirt

Do I really have to explain this one? If you wear this shirt when you are working out then you are automatically 100% stronger. You putting up a pair of 45 plates? Put this shirt on then slap two more on...EACH SIDE. Then do 28 reps just to show off. Also it will make your sweat smell like frying plantains (delicious) which will draw in many ladies.

If you wear this shirt to a night club you will get kicked out.
Stated Reason: Dress Code
Real Reason: Jealousy
Alternate Real Reason: Female Riot

Just as a thought, imagine this shirt from other countries?
Canada = Hilarious
USA = White Trash
Mexico = Pretty Cool
Dominican Republican = Only acceptable substitute for this shirt
France = Ridiculous
Spain = Confusing
Russia = Sort of Awesome
Japan = Makes you a bullseye for punches

-estilo blanco

Rums of Reggaeton: Bacardi Gold

All music genres have alcohol associated with it
1. Rock 'n Roll has Jack Daniels
2. Indie Rock has Pabst Blue Ribbon
3. Hip Hop has Alize, Hypnotiq, Crystal, Grey Goose, Old English, St. Ides, Moet, Hennessey
4. R'n'B has Courvousier and wine (kind of)
5. Jazz has wine (certainly) and lame cocktails
6. Dance Music (Gino Style) has Grey Goose and Belvedere
7. Jam Bands have Micro and home brews, also wine in a skin (what is that all about?)

But Reggaeton is amazingly silent when it comes to liquor and alcohol shout outs. Here at SPR, Talento de Victoria and Estilo Blanco are just waiting to be told what to do. We need guidance. We started doing research and learned that Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic produce copious amounts of Rum and Reggaeton.

We then tried to find the realest and most expensive rum. We learned that Grand Anejo is most expensive and is therefore the best. Also, DY mentions Anejo in the Somos De Calle Remix!

So we are going to keep drinking rums until we find the perfect reggaeton rum.
Here is the scoring:
From Puerto Rico? +2
From DR? +2
From Other Island? -2
From North America (including Mexico)? -5

Taste (1-25)
Smoothness (1-15)
Bottle Design (1-10)
Highest possible score:
50 Reggaeton Points (with 2 bonus)

First Review - Bacardi Gold

This rum was purchased for $12.99 at Trader Joes. The color was nice and when you open it up and take a sniff the first thing you think is "yup, this is booze." Downed as a shot, it's pretty harsh but leaves with you with that good rum flavor.

As a mixer this thing is awesome. Eggnog or Diet Coke, it's fantastic.

Taste (15)
Smoothness (8)
Bottle Design (3)
From Puerto Rico (+2)
28/50
Overall, pretty standard.

My Block: Puerto Rico

One of the best videos ever.


-Estilo Blanco