Enemy of Reggaeton: Lil Rob

Lil' Rob - Summer Nights

We do not like Lil' Rob. He raps in English, and when he does say stuff in Spanish it's things like Pantalones and other words that even I know how to say. Pretty weak stuff.

His biggest hit was the above track called Summer Nights, and some highlights include

"right by the Pacific, to be specific" (yes he used it again in the Bumper remix, he thought we would forget)

"they think we look crazy, but I think we look classy, but that's only if you ask me." (Seriously. That was his rhyme.)

Facts:
- The guys who make Homies were going to make a Lil' Rob figure but they realized he was too much of a stereotype.

- Lil Rob was in Dangerous Minds and read out a poem and Michelle Pfieffer said it sucked.

- Lil Rob claims to have acted in Training Day, he did not.

- Lil Rob WAS in Party Animalz (2004), which seems to be about a Mexican party where some goats show up.

- Lil Rob has the pointiest and grossest goatee in history.

-Estilo Blanco

- Lil Rob only rolls with mid-to-late thirties single mothers.

- He raps like a retarded t-rex (watch the hands).

Some people tell me that I will listen to anything in Spanish. I guess that could apply to Lil Rob, except he would have to speak Spanish first.

-Talento de Victoria

Things We Don't Like: English

Reggaeton is pretty good, mostly because it's not in English but at the same time it doesn't count as "World Music." Since Reggaeton is new, but still close enough to home that you might hear it coming out of a car, many World Music fans will hate it. This is a plus.

Anyways, the only good Reggaeton is Reggaeton in Latin Spanish. We rate an artist on how much they use Spanish and English.

What's acceptable: small English phrases here and there, hey it's part of the PR culture, no biggie. Baby Boy does it perfectly and Daddy Yankee can do it with lines like "Miss Latina Next Top Model," it is magically perfect.

What's not acceptable: Anything from half a verse or more of English. Pitbull, Lil Rob, Big Gemini. They are not reggaeton artists, they are rappers who suck. Just like every white or Asian rapper who sucks.

In the Somos de Calle remix video, there are some sick parts. then boom all of a sudden McCeja comes in busting English. What? Excuse me sir, did you not get the memo? These artists need to figure out if they are reggaetoneros or just another North American conscious hip hop loser. If that's all you want to do, I might as well listen to De La Soul or 50 Cent. Do you make a horror movie without blood? Some can, but it's rare and has to be all arty farty and shit. For the most part, it's best to stick with blood (Spanish) than to try and change the genre. You'll end up being classified as a thriller (sucky North American rap). Like I said, if you guys want to start doing all English I have a bunch of Gangsta Grillz CD's I can listen to instead, your call. Extreme, I know, but it had to be said.

-Talento De Victoria

Uh oh...

Voltio f. Pitbull AND Lil Rob? All kinds of bad!